Loving Support

I have so many loving supportive friends who have been showing their support for me from the very beginning.  People have sent me notes of encouragement on facebook, called me, taken me out for lunch/ breakfast/ dinner, sent me food, cards, made things for me, and offered whatever they have to give. 

It is amazing the outpouring of support that I have been given.  It gives me the hope and encouragement that I can get through this awful disease.  I never knew I had so many people that actually cared about what happened to me.  I don't feel as if I have a lot of friends, as most nights and weekend I am alone. I don't have people to do things with during the week or the weekend when I want to do things.  I used to, but I don't anymore.  I know most of it is that lives change, people move away, many of my friends are married and have children and don't have the time any more, and some of of my friends decided that our friendship needed to end or change where we either don't see each other anymore or can't see each other in the same way.  One of my closest friends growing up is not even aware I have been diagnosed with breast cancer.  It's nice to have people reach out during their busy lives to show they care.  Even people who I was not friends with before.  I have had a girl from high school, who I knew, friend me on facebook, because another girl, also whom I was not "friends" with, but had classes with, and have become friendly and social with on facebook in the last few years inform her I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She also had been diagnosed with breast cancer and shared her journey and offered to send her wigs to me, which she had planned on donating anyway.  I have also had people's mothers and mother's in law friend me on facebook and send me notes of encouragement and e-mail me.  Everyone's support has been wonderful.  Everyone has their own way of giving and supporting and it is great.  Whatever way you can give and support it is received with a smile and encouragement.

I have been asked by MANY what can they do, what do I want?  Anything.  I am NOT good with asking for help.  I am not good with asking people for doing things for me.  Even though I work with people and tell them they need to work on that.  I struggle with that.  I am a caretaker.  But a lot of it is, I don't know the Specifics of what I want or need.  Generally...what I want or need, if you can, if you are in the area....(Call me and tell me you want to take me out to do some thing.  It does not have to cost anything, just get me out to do something.  I most likely will not say no.  I might not be able to drive, so you might have to pick me up, or it might have to be near me.  If you live to far away, anything you like or can dream of.  A phone call, e-mail, whatever.  :-)  I am not picky.  Like I said, whatever, is fully received with love and a smile.)

Here is something that one of my friends has made for me:

 Notice they are wearing TEAM Jenna Shirts!!

So thank you Everyone for what you have done.  What you are thinking about doing, and all the prayers and love!!

Lunch with A Bestie

I finally was able to have lunch with my best friend Eric....it made me extremly happy.  We had not seen each other in almost a month...due to his schedule.  We had talked a couple times...and texted a couple times more.  But I really needed to see him. 

We went to have Sushi, since when I start Chemo I will not be allowed to have it anymore.  :-)  It was good.  I filled him in on everything I knew at this time.  It was great to hang out with him, as he always makes me feel at ease.  He always makes me feel good.

I reminded him of when I was going to lose my hair and when I was going to need him, 2-3 weeks after the start of Chemo on Aug 3rd.  To give him a heads up.  Remind him he promised me he would shave the rest of my hair.

This was the day after the "crazy storm" that hit here...and everyones power was out.  I had power...so we had to make sure where we went had power.  As he drove, we saw lines and lines of cars at gas stations and he said people were crazy drivers who did not obey the laws when the lights were out at traffic lights. 

Two "OLD" pics of Eric and I that I found and like.....

He is my best friend and has been forever!!  Glad despite all the crap in our lives we have been able to remain friends.

Chemo Class and Follow up with the Surgeon

I woke up this morning in excruciating pain, no joke....I felt like I was having a heart attack, but on my right side...so I knew it could not be.   My chest was tight and I could barely move. It hurt to breathe.  Where they had inserted the Mediport was killing me.  All of the pain meds wore off.

I call my  parents at 6:00am, my mom answers the phone and tell her I need them to take me to my appts today.  I get up and get a new icepack, take some pain meds and lay back down until my alarm is set to go off. 

I get ready, still in pain and 40 min until my appt for my Chemo class, my parents have not shown up....they are usually early for things...and I was starting to wonder what was going on.  I call my dad's cell, and he was still at home. They did not "know" (forgot) that I had the 9:00am Chemo class.  They only thought I had the 11:30 follow-up meeting with my surgeon.  UGH!!  I was tired, in pain, and irritated.  NOT a good combination.  I tell my dad to forget it.  My mom calls back and I end up yelling at her through tears.  Telling her what appt I am going to. 

Feeling incredibly guilty while I drive still in pain I go to my oncologists office where I thought the Chemo class was.  When I get there, I was told the class was across the street.  Of course I got in the wrong lane, traffic was horrible...and it was making me late for my appt. I hate being late.

Chemo class was informative, and I learned a lot.  I was able to ask questions.  I felt a bit more reassured of the process.....despite not having my time line for Chemo set out.  The Nurse who gave the information was super informative and super nice.  She was reassuring, calming, and really was available for everyones individual needs.

I then went over to the surgeon's appt, met up with mom and dad.  That appt went well.  My incision from my sentinel lymph node surgery is healing well.  She said I won't need to see her again until closer to the end of my chemo procedure.  This is where we will talk about the mastectomy or partial mastectomy and pick a plastic surgeon. I know who I want to be my surgeon is what I am thinking....
ugh, thinking I still need to write my letter to him.

Mom and Dad, love them both......drive me to work, after we eat lunch at one of my go to restaurants near my home "The Coyote Grill."  I get tons of facebook messages from my friends, which always uplifts me.  Makes me smile and keeps my spirits hi.  Knowing the support I have, and knowing that so many people are praying and thinking of me.

Another Surgery

This morning I went in to have my medi-port inserted in my chest.  My arm still hurt from the surgery last Friday, my breast was still black and blue and hurt from the biosy from last Thursday.  But I was okay in in pretty good spirits.  Like I have mentioned before, I am an old pro with surgeries and hospitals, having had so many in my "short" life.  :-)

Went in for pre-op, not as many doctors or questions, but similar process as before.  This time however I was awake during the prep-time in the operating room.  I was awake as they put the things on me, and the oxygen apparatus in my nose.  The nurse gave me the meds...and the next thing I knew...I was waking up in recovery.  Shortly there after I was able to go home.  I was not in much pain at time.

But several hours later the pain started to come as the local anesthesia wore off.  I was in A lot of pain.  My chest hurt.  It was awful.  I had to take my pain meds, every 4 -6 hours.  I could not get comfortable.  I had a hard time sleeping as I usually sleep on my right side or my stomach.  I was not happy. 

Fertility Appt

Just a routine appt to begin the fertility preservation process.  One of the steps is an internal ultrasound.  Not painful at all.  They check the lining of your uterus and ovaries to make sure everything is ok.  The insert an ultrasound machine inside your pelvis to see what is going on.  You are able to observe on a screen as they do this.  Kinda cool.  (Mine was good!!)  Awesome!

A New Hair Style, A New Me

Mom picked me up to get my hair cut.  I thought I was ready for this....but I was not.  I told my stylist, Luis at Phantacee in Arlington that I had breast cancer.  He was so supportive.  I have been getting my hair cut by him since 2005.  He has given me wonderful cuts and colors over the years.  He knows just what to do and I have a great relationship with him.

When he took my hair, which was just beginning to get past my shoulders....I have been trying to grow it out....and cut it I just lost it, my eyes filled with tears, and I started to cry.  He lovingly took a wash cloth and help it to my eyes as he massaged my head.  It was tender and loving.  It really helped me so much.  He then began to cut and style my hair.  It was hard to see my hair short.  It is beautiful, but different.  It is sexy, but different.  It makes me look different than I had.

He talked to me about being supportive and things he could do to help me.  It was wonderful.  I am glad I went to have him give me this wonderful haircut. 

Later that night I went to dinner with some great friends.  Here is a picture of the new hair do, with friends.

A very Important Surgery!

Has my cancer spread is the big question.  Do I have cancer in my lymph nodes?  Today I had surgery to see if the cancer has metastasized into my lymph nodes.  This is very common in breast cancer.  Especially where my tumor is located, so close to my arm pit area. 

Mom and dad picked me up super early, as I had to be at the hospital at 9:00 am for pre-surgery.  I had to stop eating 12:00am.  I woke up ready for the surgery.  I am an old pro at surgery.  I was not really nervous.  Not even worried to if they were going to find something. I felt confident they wouldn't.  Well....I think really I was not thinking about the results. I was just "doing" the surgery. 

Pre-op was fine, a bazillion nurses, doctors, med students, residents, etc, came in and out of the little cubicle after you are changed into your hospital gown, given a few warn blankets and a lovely "hat" to wear.  They all asked the same or similar questions.  (what meds are you taking, what is your name and bith date, when was the last time you ate and took your meds....)

My doctor came in, and she was really nice, Dr Cocilovo.  A lot different impression than I had the first time.  About 10 - 15 min after I saw her I was being wheeled into the operating room.  After that I don't remember anything until I woke up.  I woke up to a sweet nurse who asked if I wanted anything to drink.  She gave me water, asked my pain level from 1 - 10 and gave me some pain meds.  She did this several times.  It was here I learned the good news that I had no cancer cells in my lymph nodes!!  YAY, I cried happy tears!!  I asked the nurse if I could give her a hug I was so happy.  I did not realize how much I really cared until then.  Of course I cared, but I think it hit me.  :-)  Another 15 - 20 min I was moved to where I could see my parents and then another 15 min I was able to go home.

Now, I was told I could only eat (chicken soup) afterwards, but I wanted Popeye's and mashed potatoes.  And that is what I made my dad get me.  I ate it too, and did not get sick!!  HAHA!!  :-)
Mom and dad stayed with me for a while.  Then I was able to relax. 

I set up an appointment for the next day to get my hair cut, because I have been told it is better to have it short when you start to lose it.   My hair dressor is awesome and I knew he would take care of me.