Na Na Na Na...Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey....

GOOD BYE.

So last night, was the night.  Eric, my "knight in shinning armor" cut my hair and shaved my head.  It was so traumatic for me.  He was so good about it though.  We set up in my room, I closed the mirror on my vanity so I could not see it being cut off.  I could not look at myself.  I did not want to see it being cut off.  Eric was so gentle.  We saved parts of my hair so I can remember what it looked like for the final time.  Eric told me I looked good when it was all done.  I was thinking he was crazy, as i was sitting there.  He told me that you could see the pattern my hair grows in.  He talked me through the process.  It was cathartic for me to have him being him.  I am glad I asked him to do this for me, rather than go to a salon.  He was super supportive.  He hugged me, and held me when I cried.  He said, "noooo" when I finally looked in the mirror and told him I thought I looked ugly, seeing the buzz cut and seeing the scars from my 6 surgeries.  My buzz hair was soft and spiky just like his.  hehe.  Afterwards, we went to dinner.  I wore a scarf on my head.  It is hard looking at myself with no hair.  I look sick.  I look like a cancer patient.  That scares me.  That upsets me.  I just try to avoid mirrors.  That I am used to. 

 

Can't wait for this to be done with so I can have my hair start to regrow.  I am just ready to kick cancers butt already! 

Hair, My Glorious Hair......

So "THE" day has finally come.  I know it would.  I have been anxiously awaiting it.  The oncologist was correct.  I have finally started to lose my hair. The hair on my legs I can pull out with no pain whatsoever... it will just basically fall out.

I was brushing my hair and then ran my hand through my hair and pulled a small little group of about 10 hairs out.  More than you normally get when you lose your hair running your hand through it. 

Me being the sentimental one....is putting the strands from my head into a folder to then transfer to an envelope.  (the last of my hair.)   I have an envelope from "my last haircut,"  which was ever so traumatic.

I am scared to go to bed, b/c I am afraid I am going to wake up with no hair.  I "know" this is not going to happen, BUT that us the image I have in my head.

I am glad I LOVE my wigs.  It helps so much.   I now have 5 very different wigs to wear. 

Eric and I are going to do a "fun with wigs" photo shoot over a few days at some point when we can coordinate our schedules and the way I feel. I will wear different outfits, the same ones with the different wigs in different settings.  And we will do some with my with no hair.  After I edit and process the photo shoot I will post the results of our work and Eric's photo work.  He is an amazing photographer!!  I trust him to do a great job and to have fun with me with this process.  I am already thinking of Business with a skirt and pants, casual with jeans, casual spring/ fall, casual summer, casual winter, formal, Virginia Tech outfit, and one in a bikini.  Any other suggestions??  Anything anyone wants to see?

Lunch with A Bestie

I finally was able to have lunch with my best friend Eric....it made me extremly happy.  We had not seen each other in almost a month...due to his schedule.  We had talked a couple times...and texted a couple times more.  But I really needed to see him. 

We went to have Sushi, since when I start Chemo I will not be allowed to have it anymore.  :-)  It was good.  I filled him in on everything I knew at this time.  It was great to hang out with him, as he always makes me feel at ease.  He always makes me feel good.

I reminded him of when I was going to lose my hair and when I was going to need him, 2-3 weeks after the start of Chemo on Aug 3rd.  To give him a heads up.  Remind him he promised me he would shave the rest of my hair.

This was the day after the "crazy storm" that hit here...and everyones power was out.  I had power...so we had to make sure where we went had power.  As he drove, we saw lines and lines of cars at gas stations and he said people were crazy drivers who did not obey the laws when the lights were out at traffic lights. 

Two "OLD" pics of Eric and I that I found and like.....

He is my best friend and has been forever!!  Glad despite all the crap in our lives we have been able to remain friends.