Slightly Disappointing News...But Countered it with a Good afternoon!

Got a call from the Nurse at the fertility place and they were only able to freeze 5 of the 6 eggs they retrieved.  Not sure why...did not ask...but I that is not a big deal.  Like a friend said, "it only takes one."  And this IS only supposed to be my BACK up. I am hoping I won't NEED to use them at ALL. :-)

So today I had my LAST Indian buffet, for 4 1/2 months.  I will greatly miss them!!  I can't have any sort of buffets, or professional manicures/ pedicures (which I got my last one of those on Saturday.) Sushi, or any raw meat. until after Chemotherapy is finished.  So hopefully someone will have Sushi with me one more time before Friday.  :-)  I have had it several times in the last two weeks.  LOVE it!!  haha!!

My little Pin Cushion

So the last week was quite interesting.  My belly sure ended up feeling like a pin cushion.  I WAS able to give myself shots in the belly, imagine that.  I had to give myself shots starting on Saturday July 21 through Friday July 27th.  One shot of Lovenox, A shot of Menepur, and one of Gonal F.  Then I got to add a morning shot of Cetratide.  YAY!!, Alternating sides and below my belly.  It was so sore by the end of the week.  I had to go every other day to get labs and an ultrasoundn done, and then the last three days, went every day.  They 36 hours prior to my EGG retrievl day (TODAY), My mom got to give me a shot in my upper buttocks.  That did not hurt while she was doing it, bt now is sore, like I fell on it.  That was what they referred to as the "Trigger shot."

My retrieval time was 8:00am in Rockville.  I had to be there at 6:00am.  Mom and dad picked me up at 5:00am.  I really did not go to bed at all.  Maybe an hour.  Eric and I hung out from 12:45 until 3:00 and I took a brief nap. 

Today for the retrieval we were not sure exactly where to go  I knew it was the Rockville Fertility Center, but where, the building looked all dark, and there really were not that many cars.  I had to call the 24/7 on call nurse.  I woke her up..whoops!  :-(  I know how that feels.  I have been on call before....A LOT!!!  But.  The whole actual procedure took 20 minutes after they checked me in, gave me the IV and I waited.  Once the injected the anesthesia I was out after saying my social security number. 

They were able to get 6 really healthy eggs from 6 follicles that grew!  They said that was really good.  SO I guess I will take them for their word.  I am sore and crampy.  Tired too.  But that is done.  Now onto the Chemo on Friday!!  I CAN DO THIS!!

Stress, Stress, I need to Destress

So Friday 7/13/12 was a mixed day for me.  Yeah, Friday the "13th"  What a day!!  I was hoping for some good news for my Fertility Treatment, that I could start my fertility treatment, so my Chemo treatment could start as planned, but did not receive the good news from them.  My testosterone was too high and we have to wait until Tuesday to try again to start the treatment.  And to top it all off, my period still has not fully started.  I have spotted a little on Saturday and a little today, but not a whole lot.  I am trying to stay destressed.  I am trying to be relaxed.  But this is soo hard when you want something to happen and it has not happened AND with everything else that has been going on. 

I did however get good news from my MRI biopsy.  It was benign.  Nothing to worry about.  I was not to worried.  Well maybe a little.  But I am glad it was good news all in the same.  :-)

I spent Friday being relaxed after that appointment.  I went to lunch with to ex-coworkers.  I had a great time.  It was so great to see them  They told me that they were going to give me a gift certificate to "Let's Dish" so I can get pre-prepared food when I start my cancer treatment.  This is going to be very helpful for me, as I won't want to cook and I can just pull these out of the freezer and make them.  Plus they are pretty nutritious. 

Then I went to buy one of my Wigs.  OH my goodness!!  They are sooo expensive!!  $750 for one synthetic wig!!  UGH!!  Luckily my insurance company will reimburse $350 of that, but still!!  I will still have to get stuff for cleaning and care for it, but wow!!  Plus I am sure I am going to want another one in a different style.  Mine is about shoulder length in red and blond highlights with some darker low lights.  Looks real and cute if I do say so myself.  :-)  It should be in by 7/24/12.

Saturday 7/14/12 I met with Debi for lunch and that was nice.  She gave me some Arborne products.  I am excited to try these.  She talked with me about how a few others have used these products who had cancer.  I was waiting to hear back from my friend from Canada but did not hear from her until late, so I finished my leftovers from the other night, did laundry, and read in bed for the night.

Today 7/15/12 I went to the pool, our pool had an omelet and bloody Mary bar.  Relaxing, but it was hot.

Shots for Fertility

Mom, Dad, and I went to Shady Grove today so that I could learn how to give myself all of my shots prior to the collection of my eggs.  My dad did not want to be a part of the process, so it was just me and my mom.  I learned how to give myself 3 different types of shots that I will need to administer to my stomach.  (I hate needles.  I am terrified of having to stick a needle in my belly.)    I know I will be able to do it. 

All the prep, was pretty easy.  I don't mind that, and am not worried about that.  It's the actual sticking myself.  (I still turn my head when I get a shot, or have blood drawn.)  I can't very well do that this time.

My mom has to do one shot.  She has to give me one shot in the upper backside 36 hours before the take the eggs.  She practiced a few times.  I have faith in my mom.  I know she can do it.  I don't mind my mom doing it. 

Shots will begin on day 2 of my period coming up.  Possibly next Sunday.  UGH!! 

Fertility Appt

Just a routine appt to begin the fertility preservation process.  One of the steps is an internal ultrasound.  Not painful at all.  They check the lining of your uterus and ovaries to make sure everything is ok.  The insert an ultrasound machine inside your pelvis to see what is going on.  You are able to observe on a screen as they do this.  Kinda cool.  (Mine was good!!)  Awesome!

My Back Up Plan

Met with Dr. Staffen at Shaddy Grove Fertillity with my mom and dad.....well more my mom because my dad was to embarressed to come back and talk about everything with the doctor.  Discussed my fertility options with him.  He talked about the process and what could happen.  He asked my specific questions regarding my history.  Because I had nothing definitive set up with my treatment start date, he said he would talk with my oncologist and work with her.  Dr. Favret said she felt confident and was comfortable waiting so that I could do fertility preservation.

Another positive notem Dr. Staffen said that because I had two other family members who had neurofibromatosis, they could test my eggs for it and see if they were positive for it.  This would be important to ensure my children if (needing to go this route) did not have Neurofibromatosis.

Freazing and implantation of eggs that result in a pregnancy is a 50% rate.  But it is a chance I want to take.  It is a chance I need to take, just in case.  I know most likely I will either not lose it at all or get it back if I do when Chemo is over. 

I finished filling out some financial forms to help me with financial assistance due to having cancer and felt pretty confident that I was going to get much assistance with this process.  If not, it was going to be really expensive.  But I was willing and ready to put it in my credit cards.  As I was already looking at applying for another one if needed.  Normaly the whole process cost $9500 if the insurance does not cover, and this is not including other testing and office visits etc.  My insurance will cover some of that, but it does not cover the fertility process at all.  I have found out at I am eligible for a reduced cost. 

First Appt with the Oncological Surgeon

I did not know what to expect from this appointment or what it was for.  I was going into it thinking this is where I would find out what my treatment options I had are for this cancer.  I had filled out all of the forms ahead of time, and bought a pink notebook and a pink breast cancer pen.  I decorated my notebook with stickers of stars, hearts, angels, butterflies, and crosses.  It is my Breast Cancer Notebook where I can put all the information and keep everything together. 

My mom and dad came to the appointment with me.  They met me at the office.  Going into see Dr. Cocilovo was the first time I cried as a result of this diagnosis.  She was going over the probable treatment and the procedures and meetings I needed to still set up.  When she was talking she told me that due to the Chemo that I was most likely going to become infertile.  This is when I lost it.  I just started crying.  I can deal with Cancer.  I can deal with all the appointments and the pain, etc.  But I did not want to become infertile. 

Ever since I  can remember, more than anything I want in my life is to be able to have my own birth child.  I did not want to lose that opportunity because of this.  I know that I could always adopt.  I was an adoption placement worker for goodness sake, I also wrote home studies for other people who wanted to adopt.  Those children are special and those families are special.  But I did not want to lose this opportunity to give birth and raise a child from birth. Adopting an infant would be rare and too hard.  I know, I have been on the placement side.

I left the meeting overwhelmed, and not sure I liked the treatment procedure.  I felt it was to aggressive given the fact that we did not know it was in my lymph nodes or not, and that most people I talked to had surgery first and then chemo, or no chemo at all.  No chemo would protect my fertility. 

I looked up more information on the web, called friends, ended up working on trying to schedule a second opinion appt with the Doctors at Georgetown.  They needed all of my records and notes from the previous doctors.  I called and had this stuff sent to Georgetown Lombardi Cancer Center.