Chugging Along

Writting this early cause I can't sleep.  one of the side effects of the drugs....as well as one of my many "isses" 

I am keeping my head up, as much as I can say.  I was going to try and post on Tuesday, my first day back at work, but it was a miserable day back at work and I have been going to bed at 9:00pm.  The mantra I had was "It's all in your head," "You can get through this."  My stomach was weak, achy, nauseous, and crampy.  I was feeling like I was needing to have to go to the bathroom every 20 min or so.  I was sitting with my clients and, smiling, in pain, as my stomach was in pain. 

So for next treatment week Tuesdays after, will be a light day. 

Over all so far, I have mostly been Nauseous, crampy, not really feeling the need to eat ( I have been eating though), hard to get comfortable, have had a hard time sleeping, especially tonight, can't sleep worth a darn, dry mouth dry lips, some sore muscles, and headaches.  (are the headaches different than my migraines??)

I have also been watching the dogs again, so its been nice to have them here to keep me company.  To keep me busy.  They came over Tuesday night.  They get me out of the house to exercise.  Which I need.  Ohhh tummy is calling again.

I survived!!

I survived Day 1 (Round 1) of  my chemo treatment.  It went well.  Mom and dad took me.  I felt good overall when I came home.  My brother and sister-in law came to visit and spent time with me.  It was nice.  I talked with my friends Eric and Denise on the phone.   And e-mailed all of you nice people who surprised me with your generosity! 

Saturday I was feeling pretty good too.  A little tired.  I had to go back and get my Neulasta shot.  Almost got my Luperon Shot (My insurance company approved it late Friday night --it should have been approved Friday ) But they could not get access to it, so will call Monday to try and go in that day to get the shot. 

S0 over all yesterday I was a little tired, and a little nauseous, I took the pills for nausea twice.  I went on two of my 3 walks I was supposed to take for 10 of the 15 min.  But I do not think that is bad considering I don't ever really exercise.  (hehe)  Also my mouth is constantly dry, so I have been rinsing it with Act Mouth was for Dry mouth and it helps, as well as drinking water.  Also I am a little sore, like muscle soreness. 

This morning, still a little tired, not really hungry, but then again I am never hungry.  I always have to force my self to eat.  BUT I know it is more important than ever to eat now.  SO I am going to force my self to.  I am going to get some yogurt with granola. 

Not sure what else to expect, but I am good.  Thanks everyone!!

What a Day!!!

This is Sasha - My Brother and sister-in-laws dog She is adorable. 
Got to watch her last weekend and I might get to watch her next weekend.  Her "sister"
no relation came to.  They like to cuddle, play and sleep.  Her sister likes to cause "trouble"  Which is
why I gave her the nickname "Trouble"  I added this picture to this blog, because this blog was about undying love
and support and caring and these dogs give it too.  Helped me unwind. Perfect Picture for the love I felt from everyone
unselfish, and very straight from the heart.

I was never to expect the love and support I received from so many people today...and it all came from me ranting and raving this morning frustrated with my financial situation due to my bills that have resulted from this "Cancer" and my Migraines.  Like I said I just can not catch a break in the financial department with my medical issues.  My insurance company just sucks....and due to having to have my own, and being denied from a pretty good one when my Cora was up in February 2011, I had to get this sub par insurance with crazy deductible, co-insurance, and co-pay for all visits after the deductible being met (30% of allowable charge until your out of pocket is met.)  CRAZY! 

On top of it, I work with Insurance companies, who are back-logged and have out-standing payments owed to me for clients I have seen in March, April, May, June, and July...well and of course the two days in August.  SMH!!  So that is a big reason I am stressed with the money situation.  I never know what I am going to get paid, when, but the bills keep coming in, and need to be paid.  Not to mention when January rolls around my deducible starts over again and I may need surgery, radiation, and I will have to continue to receive on of the cancer infusion drugs ever 3 weeks until Next August.

BuuuuT let me get to the love part and get away from the stress part.  I was sitting in the pretty nice infusion chair (well as nice as they can be.) The are semi reclinable...push back and legs lift up.  I brought my down pillow, and my hokie snuggie.  I did not put my arms in the sleeves...but I did cover my legs up.  My nurse who took care of me, said she wanted to have me because her daughter went to TECH, and said Once a HOKIE always a HOKIE, and knew I would be cool.  :-) :-) ;-) there.

So chatting with my mom, having a snack or too.  I was checking my e-mail and they were links to something I did not quite understand.  Then I was like...urg?  twisted me head until I read what LORI had written.  She made tears build up in my eyes, at the sheer generosity and sheer kindness she had thought about in doing this.  Lori, as she/ you had said we are kindred spirits. 

Lori and I meet, over 10 years ago at a HOKIE tailgate via a guy I "dated" whom was was a mutual friend of many of my guy friends in the HT's.  She has always had a great big heart and always been doing super special things for those she cares about.  I meet several other wonderful ladies through her and for a few years when we all were around we did lots of "fun" girl things."  OHHH I miss those days.....

Lori Started this Page for me, to help raise money to help me out with my financial obligations so I did not need to be stressed about it.  http://lorihokie.blogspot.com/2012/08/blog-post.html  Like I said I was in shock.  But what came more in shock, an still is in shock to me...is how many people are actually donating and the amount at which you are donating.   I know everyone is struggling these days and everyone has it tight.  Don't feel pressured in any way.  I would love to hang out with you or spend time doing something for "free" like a museum, or go hiking, or phone calls or whatever.  But it is awesome to see people do things like this with people I have not spoken to in a long time, and with people I see once or twice a year or with people I have never meet but on facebook.  I would love to meet you!!  If I don't have a mailing address be expecting an e-mail from me to get your address to thank you.  Because you made me day!!  Everyone who has helped out has made my day!

My stress has lowered so I can concentrate on getting better and resting, so I can concentrate on my clients who have so many problems, anxiety, depression, marriage issues, parenting problems, behavior problem, suicidal problems, drinking problems, etc.  I want to be at my best s I can give them the best.  Because that is what makes me feel  the best.

I want to feel less stress so I can want to want to take pictures....I love taking pictures...but have lacked the energy, from this and just trying to get life squared away. 

So everyone.  GOD BLESS.  Cancer was the last thing I wanted, but it surely showed me that I am loved and how much love and support people truly give to their friends and supportive network when in need.

I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.  AND A BIG SPECIAL HUG to LORI for not only doing this, giving me earrings, the t-shirts....but she also got me a True Hope Moxi girl (which in time I will get a pic of) who has a bald head, to cheer me on my journey!!

I love you Lori!!!

Slightly Disappointing News...But Countered it with a Good afternoon!

Got a call from the Nurse at the fertility place and they were only able to freeze 5 of the 6 eggs they retrieved.  Not sure why...did not ask...but I that is not a big deal.  Like a friend said, "it only takes one."  And this IS only supposed to be my BACK up. I am hoping I won't NEED to use them at ALL. :-)

So today I had my LAST Indian buffet, for 4 1/2 months.  I will greatly miss them!!  I can't have any sort of buffets, or professional manicures/ pedicures (which I got my last one of those on Saturday.) Sushi, or any raw meat. until after Chemotherapy is finished.  So hopefully someone will have Sushi with me one more time before Friday.  :-)  I have had it several times in the last two weeks.  LOVE it!!  haha!!

Stress, Stress, I need to Destress

So Friday 7/13/12 was a mixed day for me.  Yeah, Friday the "13th"  What a day!!  I was hoping for some good news for my Fertility Treatment, that I could start my fertility treatment, so my Chemo treatment could start as planned, but did not receive the good news from them.  My testosterone was too high and we have to wait until Tuesday to try again to start the treatment.  And to top it all off, my period still has not fully started.  I have spotted a little on Saturday and a little today, but not a whole lot.  I am trying to stay destressed.  I am trying to be relaxed.  But this is soo hard when you want something to happen and it has not happened AND with everything else that has been going on. 

I did however get good news from my MRI biopsy.  It was benign.  Nothing to worry about.  I was not to worried.  Well maybe a little.  But I am glad it was good news all in the same.  :-)

I spent Friday being relaxed after that appointment.  I went to lunch with to ex-coworkers.  I had a great time.  It was so great to see them  They told me that they were going to give me a gift certificate to "Let's Dish" so I can get pre-prepared food when I start my cancer treatment.  This is going to be very helpful for me, as I won't want to cook and I can just pull these out of the freezer and make them.  Plus they are pretty nutritious. 

Then I went to buy one of my Wigs.  OH my goodness!!  They are sooo expensive!!  $750 for one synthetic wig!!  UGH!!  Luckily my insurance company will reimburse $350 of that, but still!!  I will still have to get stuff for cleaning and care for it, but wow!!  Plus I am sure I am going to want another one in a different style.  Mine is about shoulder length in red and blond highlights with some darker low lights.  Looks real and cute if I do say so myself.  :-)  It should be in by 7/24/12.

Saturday 7/14/12 I met with Debi for lunch and that was nice.  She gave me some Arborne products.  I am excited to try these.  She talked with me about how a few others have used these products who had cancer.  I was waiting to hear back from my friend from Canada but did not hear from her until late, so I finished my leftovers from the other night, did laundry, and read in bed for the night.

Today 7/15/12 I went to the pool, our pool had an omelet and bloody Mary bar.  Relaxing, but it was hot.