I was starting my day as usual, today on June 12th. I had a client I had to see at 9:00am at my office in Herndon. I was scheduled to see 3 more clients later that afternoon at 4:00 - 7:00pm. While I was with my 9:00 client I missed a call from the radiologist, Angelique Flourke from Washington Radiologist Associates. She told me she had the results of the biopsy she had preformed on June 8, 2012. Before leaving the office to go home until my afternoon clients I tried to call Dr. Flourke back. She was with a patient at that time so I was told she would be able to call me when she was finished.
I packed my stuff to go home, praying for good news, praying that it was benign, and that if at most it would be a Neurofibroma that needed to be removed because maybe it was growing to big. I could handle that.
I was driving home, and I got the call from her. I had to pull to the side of the road. I was on route 50, headed east, just passed 66 and Fair Oaks Mall. I had to pull to the side of the road so I could talk to her. I pulled out a notebook I had in my bag and listened. Not to well mind you....my mind was racing a mile a min. She said what we found was cancer cells. She told me I had a form of cancer called Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. I had to have her spell it out...one because I was shocked, and two as everyone who knows me, knows I can't spell worth a darn. She said the tumor was "small" about 1cm in size. She said I need to call a Oncology Breast Surgeon. She had given me the name of Dr. Constanza Cocilovo at INOVA Breast Cancer Center. She was able to give me the number for her. She told me she would call my primary doctor to let her know the results.
I did not cry, I was in shock. I think some tears fell, but I knew I needed to get home before I called anyone. I wanted to call someone right then...but I did not know if I could talk, or if I would break down or what. I just could not believe it.
The first call I made was to my Office manager Brenda Park. I told her I need to cancel my afternoon appts because I just found out I had breast cancer. Brenda is wonderful. She listened and was supportive and she took care of canceling the appts for me so I did not have to worry about them.
Then I called my dad, as he is not working, having been layed of and looking for another job. Again, no tears, just trying to get the information I got. I was also trying to frantically look up stuff on the Internet to better understand what was going on.
My dad called my mom at work and she came home. She told me she broke down and cried at work. I hate to see, or hear my parents in pain. They have been through so much because of me. From the time I was born they have had to go through many hospitalizations and what not, through my depression issues. I just want things to be good so I can not make them so sad. (I know I am not the cause of all these things, I do feel some guilt, (cognitive distortion), but I want them to be able to relax and not have to "worry" about me and take care of me for once. It was finally happening until this!!
Mom called when she got home. Talked with her. I then needed to talk with my brother. I think my brother took it super hard. I don't know. My brother and I have a good relationship, but we don't hang out. I know my brother cares about me and worries about me a lot in all aspects of my life. He always has. He has stood up for me when I was teased when I was younger. He looked over me when going out to make sure guys don't take advantage of me. He is a wonderful brother. He is my younger, but very mature, caring, loving and understanding brother. He listened, he did not say much because I am assuming he did not know what to say. He told me to be strong, not to go out and drink to much, because that was what he would do. He said we can get through this. It was at the time one of the longest conversations I have had with my brother on the phone and I loved it. I try to wear a necklace he gave me for Christmas in 2009, when I was really depressed, as much as I can, as it makes me feel close to him, and that he is there for me. (It is the loving embrace or warm embrace necklace from Kay Jewelers.)
My dad called my relatives, and I got a call from my Aunt Trish. She lives in Destin Florida. She told me if I wanted a break she would send me a ticket to Florida to visit. I would love to, let's see if I can get this fit in somewhere!!
My Uncle Craig, sent me e-mail. Very supportive talking about his recent cancer diagnosis, and that he has fought it, and that he is now in remission, and that they originally only gave him 2 - 4 months to live and now they are projecting at least 10 more good years. He also told me that his mother had breast cancer back in the 70's and she lived into her 70's. And I should know that cancer treatment is so much better now, that he is sure I am in good hands and that it was caught early will make a good prognosis.
Once I let family know, I sent out a notice to friends on facebook. The outpouring of support and love overwhelmed me. It made me feel so strong and knew I could get through this. (Still I have only shed a few tears, not really cried. My eyes have only just misted up in talking to my family)
I then called my one of my Best Friends Shanna, whose husband is a radiologist. Told her the facts, still no tears, still in shock. Shanna listened she told me she would do anything I needed, even come to appts with me as she is a stay at home mom with her little one Camilla.
I called my other Best Friend Denise in Chester. Talked with her for a while. She is always do supportive to. Again no tears. Denise is so strong and supportive.
I called and then texted my Best friend Mel, also my big sister in my sorority in Chesapeake, I also texted her husband, cause usually I get a better response from her, when I get him to have her call me. She called me back within 20 minutes. She was in shock, but strong and supportive. Her older sister is in recovery from her Breast Cancer diagnosis. She gave me her number to call to talk to her sister. (Mel's family is like one of my second families.) Mel sent her love and hugs and kisses.
I then attempted to call my Best Friends Eric. I could not get in touch with him. I texted him, two times saying I needed to talk to him. (around 11am 2pm). I finally just sent him a text to say I had Breast Cancer because I needed him to know, and I had no idea what his schedule was or where he was. I was hoping when he saw that he would be able to call me back. Not until almost 9:00pm did he call. He had been in a conference all day. He was in shock too. Did not know much to say. I wanted him to come over....but I knew 9:00 was late. I just need a hug.
Having announced this diagnosis and seeing the loving support from old friends, new friends, friends and family of friends, and even from people I was not close to from HS and college is amazing and wonderful. It makes me strong, knowing that everyone is there for me. That through tragedy or something tuff, can come something strong. I am so thankful for Facebook, as I think it helped me deal with the news in a great way!
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